an "a to z" of thoughts, conversations, remarks, observations,musings about

Thursday, December 14, 2006

warnings

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


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***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time.


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***WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.


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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


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WARNING: The crumsumpten of alchlohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gud!

2 comments:

erimentha said...

tee hee!

refer to comment on 'things I love about Delhi' post!

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh.... so THATS how I became a MOTHER!!

and why I have so many unexplainable rugburn scars on my knees and lower back!

I see now, its the ALCOHOL that makes me look and act like a fool. I just thought I was seriuosly defective as a human being.

And are you SURE that none of my ex's want that phone call at 4am, of me singing badly, whisper - shouting I love them, while dancing like a moron in my livingroom, thinking I am really smart, invisible and funny and then forgetting and denying it ever happened

things I will consider before ever drinking again!!!

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