this website ...is a nice idea...just like facebook allows you to stay in touch with your friends without having to jhelo them face to face... now you can do the same with your neighbours....
interesting that 25 yr old from roorkee are showing up in the young entrepreneur brigade..... the winds of change managed to sweep away some of the cobwebs in the laidback old alma mater it seems...or is this the exception that proves the rule...
an "a to z" of thoughts, conversations, remarks, observations,musings about
Showing posts with label Computers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Computers. Show all posts
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
microsoft retail stores being designed.
10 Ways Microsoft Stores will be Different to Apple Stores
Microsoft announced plans to open retail stores, hoping to boost visibility of many of its products and its brand. The move seems to be an effort to mimic the success that Apple has had with its retail stores. The news is just too tempting not to have some fun with. So here are some yet-to-be-officially-revealed details about the Microsoft stores.
1) Instead of Apple's sheer walls of glass, Microsoft's stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes -- reminiscent of Windows security.
2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.
3) Instead of a "Genius Bar" (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it's a problem with the hardware -- not a software bug.
4) The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security, assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.
5) Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside).
6) Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.
7) Fashioned after Microsoft's User Account Control (UAC) in Vista, sales personnel will ask you whether you're positive you want to purchase something at least twice.
8) Xbox 360 section of the store will be organized in a ring -- which will inexplicably go red occasionally.
9) DreamWorks will design a scary in-store theme park ride called "blue screen of death."
10) Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked
Microsoft announced plans to open retail stores, hoping to boost visibility of many of its products and its brand. The move seems to be an effort to mimic the success that Apple has had with its retail stores. The news is just too tempting not to have some fun with. So here are some yet-to-be-officially-revealed details about the Microsoft stores.
1) Instead of Apple's sheer walls of glass, Microsoft's stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes -- reminiscent of Windows security.
2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.
3) Instead of a "Genius Bar" (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it's a problem with the hardware -- not a software bug.
4) The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security, assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.
5) Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside).
6) Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.
7) Fashioned after Microsoft's User Account Control (UAC) in Vista, sales personnel will ask you whether you're positive you want to purchase something at least twice.
8) Xbox 360 section of the store will be organized in a ring -- which will inexplicably go red occasionally.
9) DreamWorks will design a scary in-store theme park ride called "blue screen of death."
10) Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked
Friday, September 22, 2006
call centre blues
Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cabe."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cabe."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Labels:
callcentres,
Comedy,
Computers,
outsourcing
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
"The Mythical Man Month"
I was browsing through the net and caught a reference to "The Mythical Man Month" and it was nice to be reminded of this awesome book which will teach you all you ever need to know about project management. I had read it a long time back and I used to watch people mismanaging their tasks and projects and wonder why they kept making the same mistakes. All they had to do was read this book, no need for an MBA or PMP or whatever, and yet the same mistakes happen again and again. Look at Vietnam and Iraq or IBM and Microsoft. Then I went to Wiki, and there the following paragraph was a rather neat explanation. ( see part in italics ). You should check out the entire wiki entry here too...its a good read.
Brooks's observations are based on his experiences at IBM while managing the development of OS/360. To speed development, he mistakenly attempted to add more workers to a project falling behind schedule. He also asserted that writing an Algol compiler would require six months—regardless of the number of workers involved. The tendency for managers to repeat these errors led Brooks to quip that the book is called "The Bible of Software Engineering" because "everybody reads it but nobody does anything about it!"
Brooks's observations are based on his experiences at IBM while managing the development of OS/360. To speed development, he mistakenly attempted to add more workers to a project falling behind schedule. He also asserted that writing an Algol compiler would require six months—regardless of the number of workers involved. The tendency for managers to repeat these errors led Brooks to quip that the book is called "The Bible of Software Engineering" because "everybody reads it but nobody does anything about it!"
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
quick and dirty operating system.
During one of those last long nights working to deliver DOS 2.0 in early 1983, I am told that Paul Allen heard Gates and Ballmer discussing his health and talking about how to get his Microsoft shares back if Allen were to die.
after a long time, cringely returns to what he does best, anecdotes about the people in the tech world. Here he dissects Microsoft and serves up some tasty morsels like the one above. Read the full piece here
after a long time, cringely returns to what he does best, anecdotes about the people in the tech world. Here he dissects Microsoft and serves up some tasty morsels like the one above. Read the full piece here
Friday, March 24, 2006
quote of the day
THERE'S a poem on a wall at Apple Computer's headquarters that starts like this: "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes."
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Network Neutrality
Prepared Statement of Vinton G. Cerf
Vice President and Chief Internet Evangelist
Google Inc.
U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation
Hearing on
“Network Neutrality”
February 7, 2006
Good morning Chairman Stevens, Senator Inouye, and members of the Committee. My name is Vint Cerf, and I am currently Vice President and Chief Internet Evangelist with Google. You may be more familiar with me for my work over the last few decades as one of the network engineers involved in devising the software protocols that underpin the Internet.
read more
Vice President and Chief Internet Evangelist
Google Inc.
U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation
Hearing on
“Network Neutrality”
February 7, 2006
Good morning Chairman Stevens, Senator Inouye, and members of the Committee. My name is Vint Cerf, and I am currently Vice President and Chief Internet Evangelist with Google. You may be more familiar with me for my work over the last few decades as one of the network engineers involved in devising the software protocols that underpin the Internet.
read more
Monday, February 06, 2006
wi fi ...wireless network
been trying to install a netgear wireless router at home. there is a neat cute white netgear box sitting there..with a huge festering clump of cables behind it. The amount of wires needed to make a house wireless is truly astounding. The installation CD is in german, the product is made in china and says "designed in california", and the internet provider is a wierd local ISP who are somehow never around when we need them the most. The electricity is playing havoc with all schedules and this supposedly upmarket tony neighbourhood where I live has powercuts randomly ranging upto 3 - 4 hours. Amidst this, continues our titanic struggle to install Wi Fi. To add to this confusion, theres a prancing puppy in the room, as i try to figure out which wire goes where.
Anyone who can help is requested to comment.
a day later after I wrote the above...i arose from my bed refreshed, I smelt the coffee...i tickled the dog..i read the newpaper...i fired up the internet and read all about the wifi routers...and i sat down with a cigarette...and with some inspired guesswork ...i picked my way slowly and steadily through the clump of wires and protocols..and less than half an hour later...everything was humming along nicely and the wifi router was standing tall and proud and emanating its mating signal in all directions.
Anyone who can help is requested to comment.
a day later after I wrote the above...i arose from my bed refreshed, I smelt the coffee...i tickled the dog..i read the newpaper...i fired up the internet and read all about the wifi routers...and i sat down with a cigarette...and with some inspired guesswork ...i picked my way slowly and steadily through the clump of wires and protocols..and less than half an hour later...everything was humming along nicely and the wifi router was standing tall and proud and emanating its mating signal in all directions.
Monday, December 26, 2005
politics in the eyes of a geek
read this rather nice story on cringelyslatest --
"Which sadly reminds me of a political fundraising breakfast years ago at the Yale Club in New York City. Bill Bradley was trying to run for President and raising money as fast as he could with events like this. Comedian Bill Cosby was there in the audience. "Bill, you are a comic, tell us a joke," asked Bradley.
"Senator, you are a politician, first tell us a lie," said Cos."
nice one..isnt it...
cringely for the unitiated is a old nerd or geek. He has been hanging around the computing world with fascinated eyes and has seen the industry grow up. His book, the nerds, is a great story about how the computing industry grew up... these days he writes a weekly column on PBS and also has started something called Nerd TV which is basically a series of downloadable video interviews with the gurus of geekdom.
"Which sadly reminds me of a political fundraising breakfast years ago at the Yale Club in New York City. Bill Bradley was trying to run for President and raising money as fast as he could with events like this. Comedian Bill Cosby was there in the audience. "Bill, you are a comic, tell us a joke," asked Bradley.
"Senator, you are a politician, first tell us a lie," said Cos."
nice one..isnt it...
cringely for the unitiated is a old nerd or geek. He has been hanging around the computing world with fascinated eyes and has seen the industry grow up. His book, the nerds, is a great story about how the computing industry grew up... these days he writes a weekly column on PBS and also has started something called Nerd TV which is basically a series of downloadable video interviews with the gurus of geekdom.
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