news bulletin

Greetings ..in this section we shall discuss the current news. Without any research, fact verification and shameless plagiarism mixed with a healthy amount of invective, lets see what the jargon in our papers that passes for news actually means.

In a speech at the Asia Society here ahead of his trip to India and Pakistan beginning March 1, Bush said New Delhi should ease caps on foreign direct investments, lower tariffs on American agricultural products and services and open up its markets.

The Bush in power, whose granpa used to supply the germans, whose daddy was in the kennedy assasianation cover up and whose mother loves the blackies, is about to visit India. Of course he has to stop by in Pakistan too otherwise they would feel offended. To prepare for this trip, a few hundred brownskinned migrant workers were rounded up and packed into a hall with the promise of free drinks and vague future benefits. Georgie talked to them to get acclimatised with the feeling of being surrounded by brownskinned people. His handlers used this opportunity to get him to rehearse his lines. He wishes that India, should let foreigners buy up stuff in India and sell their surplus food grown with the latest experimental technology to the natives. Also, India should let Americans come and sell anything they want here. Bush will also be delivering a stern lecture to the Indian leaders, about how they should deploy their nuclear facilities. Even, though the president of India is a scientist who knows this stuff inside out, and the the prime minister an economist who can talk all day about market access and floating currency, still, they arent white and so a Big White Chief can lecture to them on these subjects and make them listen.

The United Arab Emirates has granted a license to the country's first human rights organisation, the Gulf News daily reported Wednesday.

Ahh...funny we never hear about human rights abuses from that area of the world. All this time that the europeans turned their nose up at our carpets woven with nimble child fingers, no one realised that the Emirates didnt even have a human rights organisation. I guess there arent any human rights concerns when you buy oil. After all it just goes into the tank of your car. A carpet is different, you actually walk on it...and it would have been uncomfortable to realise that you were trampling underfoot thousands of knots woven by little children.

Representatives from the Sri Lankan government and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) rebels began their first direct talks in three years in Switzerland on Wednesday.

Why are the Tamils always taken to cold places to negotiate. Rather a wierd way to ensure a thaw in relations. First Oslo then Geneva. Beware O Ceylonese of these sun starved northerners, they are aiming to bewilder you by snow and before you know it you would have developed an uncontrollable addiction to cuckoo clocks, chocolates and nokia phones.

The Indian government said on Wednesday it could "not rule out the possibility" of avian influenza spreading to human beings in a village in Maharashtra

This is a lame headline, the Indian government is incapable of ruling out almost anything. They cant rule out the possibility of a man who was supposed dead in 1942 still being alive today.

A World Bank team will help the Bihar government revamp the public distribution system (PDS) to benefit the target group - the poorest segments, government sources said on Wednesday.

The world bank is going to tell the Bihar government on how to plug leakages in the food distribution system. It will be interesting to see them standing at a ration shop and trying to get a litre of kerosene. Why the World Bank is needed for this is anyones guess, but still one wishes them luck.

An Il-76 transport aircraft of the Indian Air Force (IAF) left here on Wednesday morning for Manila with relief material including tents, medicines, blankets and packets of pre-cooked food.

Refer story above. Wouldnt it be better for this aircraft to land in Champaran and help out our own.

It has now crossed the 50 million mark, and more interestingly moved to fourth spot on the world internet user base pushing Germany to fifth spot. According to data computed by the US-based Computer Industry Almanac Inc, (publicised by internetworldstats.com), the number of Indians who hit the internet highway stood at 50.6 million. The data from the website shows that India had a meagre 1.40 million internet users in 1998, which rose to 39.20 million in 2004. This has now shot up to 50.60 million.

50 million indians on the internet, thats 5 % of the population. So anyone reading this blog, remember you are part of a small minority of people. Prediction - there will be an increasing move on the part of the white nations to erect barriers on the internet before they get swamped by the hordes of chattering indians.

OVER SIX years after ramp model Jessica Lall was shot dead at socialite Bina Ramani’s packed Tamarind Court restaurant, a local court on Tuesday acquitted all the nine suspects — including Manu Sharma, son of former Union minister Vinod Sharma

This is the real story, hopefully someone will have watched Rang De Basanti and will find Manu Sharma. To those who forgot, this arrogant son of a Minister was sitting in a bar and wanted more to drink, the waitress refused and he pulled out a gun and shot her dead. He is now set free by the courts.

Suspended sub-inspector Daya Nayak will soon be questioned on why he had not filed his property returns, something compulsory for a government servant

Politically motivated stuff here. This was a policeman who shot the baddies. Backed by the previous government, he was part of a Mumbai police team that took no prisoners and put the fear of god into the underworld. Now they want to know why he didnt file his property returns, surely he could have found time to do that while taking on one of the most powerful criminal organisations in the world, and that too on a simple government salary.