an "a to z" of thoughts, conversations, remarks, observations,musings about

Friday, September 22, 2006

call centre blues

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cabe."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

4 comments:

Guru-tech said...

Hey dude,

You know of some good Indian web-site where you can buy/sell shares on-line in Indian companies?

Regards,
Westy

@ said...

icicidirect.com
sharekhan.com
5paisa.com
indiabulls.com

I use icici because i had a bank account there and their system is very robust. Their brokerage costs are extremely high compared to the others. Since i dont do short term buying and selling, so it doesnt really matter to me.

meleah rebeccah said...

was this a REAL phone call?

I am considering writing up a post of the same subject matter myself

I have a friend who works in telemarketing for LIFEALERT (life saving device for the eldery) I keep making my friend tell me the phone conversations he must endure with the prospective clients... some of it is HYSTERICAL

Thanks for the inspiration!

meleah rebeccah said...

same here love the comments section

hmm desires.. well thats to "strip club-ish" sounding for me!!


i will do the call center one, when i get more that arent so cliche'

so.. INDIA to DC? what gives? why the move?

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