an "a to z" of thoughts, conversations, remarks, observations,musings about

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

funny but true - fact of the day

It took Eleanor Roosevelt’s visit to India in 1952 to introduce the long broom for street-sweepers.

Longest 5th Set in Davis Cup

The NY times reports - Equaling records and exhausting both participants, the fourth match of an extraordinary Davis Cup meeting concluded with Dmitry Tursunov beating back Andy Roddick’s challenge to send Russia into the final against Argentina with a 6-3, 6-4, 5-7, 3-6, 17-15 victory over the United States.

The score was 2-1 for russia on clay, not roddicks favourite surface, and despite a heroic effort, it was russia that went through, with the unknown Tursunov coming through in a marathon.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

musharraf on the daily show

just saw pervez musharraf talking to jon stewart on the daily show. Talking about his book and about the taliban etc. He seemed less cocky and more weary. The sophistication and the suaveness were less noticeable than say in Agra. He gave a portrayal of a man caught in an indefensible position...viz ..a rock and a hard place.

To his credit he still talks sense and is a good comunicator. It did seem however that he doesnt wield any real power, but is rather a frontpiece doing a tough job for a long time and getting rather weary of it.

why not write in hindi

I was introduced to hindi literature at the age of 27, by that time already having read tonnes of books in english. I always felt that english writing coming out of india was somehow lacking in that something which gives a book its sounded a little strained....and I wished it was more relevant to my life. Amitav Ghosh and Upamanyu Chatterjee were exceptions to the rule I felt but still some of their later books let me down. I used to wonder why noone wrote about the indian experience and why there was no true indian voice yet.

When I read Manohar Shyam Joshi, or Nirmal Verma or some newer Hindi authors I realised that what I was searching for was right under my nose. The evocations of delhi or lucknow or mumbai or even the small towns in their books was so masterly and true, it struck home immediately. I explored a bit and found that there was a vast sea of hindi literature which was vibrant, relevant, brutally honest and amazingly talented. It spoke to me and spoke for me.

So if anyone is thinking of writing in Hindi and wondering what will the morrow bring. Will he be living in the chawls of mumbai and ekeing out a miserable existence, I think that is a fallacy. A writer must find his voice first, not worry about which language will have better readers. Speak the tongue that comes naturally to you. There is no dearth of opportunity. The movies, the serials, the magazines, the websites, the tv channels all are hungry for content. If you create good content, it will sell. To create good content though you must find your voice.

I, being as my flatmate once charmingly observed, "very compromising" had tried to figure a way which combined the best of both worlds. So you can write like this too -

itni saari debate faaltu mein ho rahi hai. jo man mein aata hai usko keh daalo. Dont worry ki usko kaise chhaapenge. Arrey yaar, aajkal to chhaapne ki zaroorat bhi nahi rahi....hum ko dekh lo...kitna likhte hai aur ek drop ink use nahi kya abtak :)

must read - interview story

Read this on a great starts like this and gets better...Woman applicant: I understand completely. It is a challenge. But as you can see in my CV it is a challenge I have faced successfully before..

read the full piece here..... must read :)

The America Diaries - 1

It doesnt get better than this. This is the absolute top of the heap of the american experience...the football cheerleaders.

Monday, September 25, 2006

The global village

Here is some food for thought: If we could compress the earth's population to a village of just 100 people, Village 100, with all the existing human rations remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
· 57 Asians / 21 Europeans / 8 African
· 52 would be female / 48 would be male
· 70 would be non-white / 30 would be white
· 70 would be non-Christian / 30 would be
· 89 would be heterosexual / 11 would be homosexual
· 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the USA
· 80 would live in substandard housing
· 70 would be unable to read
· 50 would suffer from malnutrition
· 1 would be near death
· 1 would be near birth
· 1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
· 1 would own a computer.

taken from the ACHR here.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

sacred games

vikram chandra returns with sacred games...heres what the guardian had to say

If I was sorry to learn that Mumbai police do not talk in the language of their newspapers (where miscreants are always nabbed red-handed in the nick of time), then I was grateful for my full-blooded lesson in Hindi curses. All are brilliantly embedded so that every meaning is clear, a remarkable achievement. Anthony Burgess once did a similar job for Russian in the teenage argot of A Clockwork Orange, but his publisher insisted on a glossary, against Burgess's better judgment. Chandra manages without. Next time some maderchod Mumbai tapori tries to cheat me, he'd better watch out. My tongue is gonna be sharper than one of Ma Singh's lime pickles.

love hurts

In life sometimes things happen that take a long time to get over. It doesnt always help to have a good memory. Its sometimes so much easier on yourself to be able to forget and move on. The memory of what we had, what we lost, what we let slip through our fingers is a tough thing to live with. Sometimes we wish we didnt have to go through this.

Maybe and then again maybe not. Even in act of losing, we do gain something. We have passed through a celebration of life and that is something worth remembering. That little magical mysterious funny giggly aching crazy feeling. It was there once, we cant kid ourselves anymore that it wasnt there, that it doesnt exist, because we saw it, we felt it take birth in us and grow till it suffused our entire personality. It really was there, bringing silly grins or loud sighs involuntarily at inopportune moments. It wasnt an illusion or a delusion or dream of something. It was the real thing, the true shining simple bare thing, the connectedness with another heart, the astonishing knowledge of another heart.

Some people say that love doesnt exist, and you smile at them. They still havent got it, but we had it. We dont need any proof or any argument on that. Too bad it didnt last, but theres no doubt it was there. I dont say that its anything special, but its not something trivial either. Its like finding faith or committing to a cause. Theres a line that has been crossed and though only the traces, the wreckage and the heartache remain, still theres no going back. When the heartaches get less frequent, when the memories fade a little more on the edges, when life brings us to the next stop and we get on with it, we still will have this in us.

This memory, this unknowable, magical thing that will always belong to me.

And I look around and catch a little kids eye and grin and stick my tongue out.

Friday, September 22, 2006

call centre blues

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cabe."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Thursday, September 21, 2006

sachin .. tendulkar ...sachin ...tendulkar

The stage is set.

Mcgrath is returning from an injury layoff.
Sachin is returning from an injury layoff.
Both look like they never went away for a second.
Its India vs Australia.
Its a neutral venue.
Its a do or die match for qualification to the final.
It starts in a little while from now.

As always....its finally down to Sachin.

update - india lost by 18 runs. Brett Lee took 5 wickets including sachin, dravid, dhoni and the last two. Mongia topscored.

stock tips

buy -

icici bank
JP hydro
Hexaware Tech
Aztec Software

Panda bites man, man bites panda


Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said...that explains more here.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

wierd injuries on the playing field.

self explanatory image

The weeks that were and the world that was

The last few weeks have seen us cross the anniversary of the defining moment of the decade, the fall of the twin towers. Five years ago I was in a cycle rickshaw on my way to a bar, when my sister called me with the news. I immediately ran up to the bar and grabbing a fistful of salted peanuts and a cold beer, settled down to watch the second plane hit the towers. It seemed so unreal but not unexpected. What used to be surprising to us was that how did america escape for so long. We had seen the rage of the terrorists. The people who were drunk on easy money, easy guns, easy narcotics and easy glory. We knew they burnt and destroyed and killed so many of us indians. We also knew that they considered us small fry and what they really hated was the other culture. The culture of the west, with its blue jeans, its rock music, its movies where everyone had sex all the time, its free environment which worked without the hand of god. It was tough for them to invoke religous beliefs and the religious way, when on the other side of the world, america seemed to be having one endless party without any need to include god in the debate.

Soon we will not even remember that world that passed away on 9/11. For a few years there was hope for everyone. Extremists, terrorists, rightists, leftists, militarists, fundamentalists, industrialists, economists all had been rendered trivial. The world had realised that we didnt need a bunch of fancy jargon, we just needed to connect and work together and everything could work just fine. We didnt need a president who was bold and courageous and a shrewd military tactician, we just needed someone sensible who would put in 8 hours in the office and do his job.

In 98 I had moved to Lucknow, the capital of one of the provinces that Vishal Bharadwaj calls "states of abject lawlessness". I had a degree from india's best college, a 98 percentile test score in americas favourite graduate test and fairly well-off parents who were only to willing to see their son go to harvard or something. Yet, inspite of all these options, I went to Lucknow and lived there for two years. Those were the years of the dot com boom. 1998 -2000. I understood what was happening, albeit only as far as a guy just out of college could understand it. So I went to Lucknow and lived among the bhaisabs and the bhaiyas, the good citizens of lucknow for two years. All I did was make sure I checked my email everyday. That was my only rule. At first i would get one message a week. Still I checked it. I wrote to friends, sent emails to magazines, surfed the web, chatted online, made a website, preached the power of the coming webolution to anyone who would listen.

Those were good times and I would experience first hand the power of the new digital revolution. Sitting in Lucknow I stayed close to my friends in the US. I even made some new friends all over the world online, some of whom are still close to me today. I wrote articles for a magazine based out of bombay and was invited down there to spend some time at their office. I researched on the internet and was able to do cutting edge graphic design and 3D work which still amazes me, I met girls in chatrooms and went to other cities on weekends to meet them and date them, I consulted for IT companies in Lucknow and helped traditional manufacturers get new techniques from the internet, I helped people make their webpages and I helped businesses computerize their operations. Oh, and I build buildings too. And I drank a lot and roamed far and afield on my trusty kawasaki. I made friends in the inner city, in the muslim areas and spent many happy evenings drinking tea and discussing life. It was so much fun.

That world that I knew didnt last long. In 2001, the planes crashed into the towers. The towers fell. The elections in Florida earlier had given a lot of us a sinking feeling in our stomachs. We knew the leadership of the free world was in the hands of the USA, and when something wierd like the florida elections/the bush-gore chaos happened, we felt uneasy. The freedoms we took for granted no longer seemed secure. If democracy and transparency and decency and legality could be in doubt in the USA, then what hope for the rest of the world. That had made us uneasy, but we hoped the momentum of the clinton years would carry on and be difficult to turn back. It was not to be. There were a series of crashes. The nasdaq crashed, the dot com boom crashed and suddenly it seemed the 80's were back.

An Indian airliner was hijacked and flown to Kandahar, Afghanistan. The government in Afghanistan was a friend of the government in Pakistan. The government in Pakistan was a friend of the government in the USA. Our plane was standing in Afghanistan and we were watching it on television. We believed that the community of nations would not let us down. The United Nations would condemn the acts of the Afghan Government, the Taliban. The US would lean on Pakistan and Taliban, and our plane would be set free. It was only when the hijackers took a knife and stabbed Rupen Katiyal in the chest several times, that we understood that we were on our own and this was serious.

Masood Azhar, Omar Sheikh and Mushtaq Ahmed Zarga were taken out of indian jails and sent to Afghanistan along with oodles of cash. We got our people and our plane back, except for Rupen, who I think was on his honeymoon when the hijack happened. We felt uneasy because it foretold something. It foretold that the world was not the free and fair place that we thought. The world allowed places like Afghanistan to exist, where the government was in cahoots with hijackers and terrorists. They were madmen and they were friends of pakistan who was a friend of america. That was wierd. We knew they were madmen for sure when they broke down 2000 year old statues of Buddha which had existed peacefully and werent really doing anything to threaten them.

This wasnt the world I knew in Lucknow. It had changed.

Omar Sheikh
whom we had to release, went on to plan and carry out the killing of Daniel Pearl, a young wall street journal reporter and then released the video of how they cut his throat for the world to see. This raised him so high in the estimation of the taliban leadership that he became a right hand man to Osama Bin Laden. This London School of Economics trained, urbane british muslim, became the financial mastermind for the Al Qaeda. Legend has it that he betted on airline stocks by shorting them before 9-11 and made more than enough money on this single transaction on Dubai stock exchange to finance the entire operation. He has been cited as the key financier of Mohammed Atta.

This man, whom we had in our jails and were forced to let go. This man who pioneered the art of making video films of murders. This man who financed the key hijacker in 9-11. This man is in a jail in Pakistan, still awaiting his sentence to be carried out, still waiting for his appeals to be heard and still meeting and talking to would be terrorists. The world has changed a lot since he was an arm wrestling champion and master debater at the London School of Economics. He is still around to influence events and so are his leaders in the taliban and al-qaeda. It is a strange world. It would seem that in 5 years something would have been done. America would have meted out justice, but no, theres something else happening. Theres a war in Iraq to take care of first. The world really has changed.

What really has changed?
The Internet still chugs along, witness this blog.
The world gets closer and closer together, witness the global supply chain and outsourcing.

but no, there are some things that have changed.

Chevron is back as the largest corporation. The new economy pretenders have been pushed back and the old barons are back in the saddle.

The pope makes speeches where he shows a serious lack of concern for the feelings of other religions.

Israel feels free to destroy a neighbour from the air. It bombs bridges, roads, power stations. Its like trying to starve someone to death to cure them. The world watches.

Iraq is what it is. Too many dead bodies. Too many atrocities. Too many feuds. Too many guns.

India loses its voice. It now meekly echoes whatever the US tells it.

Strong leaders, Religious leaders, Military leaders are now much in demand. Moderates all over the world who were just doing a quiet job of governing are being pushed aside by the need of the hour. The need of the hour seems to be very confrontationist. The one world - one mission - one voice - one internet - one idea days seem so long ago.

5 years ago the towers fell. Now on my first visit to America, I see the changes and the ones that will come. The voices on TV are shrill, the Flag waving is grimfaced, the hole in the ground in ground zero is still a hole in the ground. Somewhere someone is not doing a regular 8 hour a day job of running things. There is less hope. There is less freedom. There are more checks. There are more warnings. We have now started to look over our shoulder more and less at the stars above.

the world is truly changing...welcome to the brave new world.

5 things to do in noida

That was kind of fun, writing down 5 things to do in Delhi. It brought back many a happy memory. Memories of rushing towards a government wine shop with one eye on the clock, trying to burrow your way through the mass of humanity thronging the counter and getting your arms around a bunch of bottles before the "theka" or liquor store, closed at 9 pm. Now I think I shall refine it a bit...and go for 5 things to do in Noida. Its been a while since I lived in Noida, and maybe some of the places I remember do not exist anymore or have fallen into disrepute, superceded by newer attractions. Still, for what its worth, I give you - 5 things to do in Noida

1. Have an iced tea with a cheese tomato sandwich. Or if its winter, then a warm cup of almond kahwah. The lal market, just besides sector 30 and 36 is a great place to hang out, and not just for the young army daughters. Theres a little Tea Shoppe, just next to the Lal Market. Run by a gentleman who retired after running a tea estate, its a great place to enjoy a cuppa. Sit down on the cane chairs, warm your hands on the little coal fires and have long conversations with friends while sipping endless varieties of tea. A must-do if you are in noida.

2. Score some pot. Noida is liberally sprinkled with good old fashioned pot sellers. All you need to do is ask. You dont need to smoke it, but just for the fun of scoring it, its a must do activity. You would be taken into bylanes, into slums, into wierd clearings in slums where frightening statues of the mother goddess look over a bunch of hash devotees, to crowded marketplaces where the stuff is sold in sealed plastic bags so professional looking that you almost expect to see a bar code on them. If in case you shrink from this activity, have no fear, just walk around to the naya bans market in sector 15, ask for the government hemp shop and provided that you have a ten rupee note, walk away with a government approved and distributed bag of indian pot leaves that you might be able to finish in a month, if you smoked really fast.

3. Grab a camera and a motorcycle and go out at midnight to the noida expressway. Driving along it in the middle of the night as it snakes its way over the Yamuna river is a real fun thing to do. Stopping at various points to take photographs and communicate with the river goddess is highly recommended. Round this off with a drive down towards Kalindi, when you get in from the expressway, head towards Mayur Vihar and take a left in front of the aiims apartments, on a small nondescript road. This little road snakes its way along the Kalindi reservoir and is a beautiful drive. A great expanse of water stretches out as far as the eye can see. There are various birds and stuff to entertain you. The moon shines down on a lonely fisherman rowing his boat across it and casting its net. Dont stop too long unless you know your way around, for the police have a habit of being rather inquisitive and butting in without being introduced. A good story is that of being a staff photographer for a newspaper and showing them your camera. They are a little wary of fleecing journalists and so usually will let you alone.

4. Food at Laxmi's. Down at Brahmaputra market in sector 29 theres a little udipi joint called Laxmi which has the best coconut chutney ever known to man. The food is cheap, hot, fresh and mouthwateringly delicious. Try the rasam as a start, then the days special and then keep eating as long as you can. Make sure to round it off with a filter coffee. The surrounding areas are great for bird watching. Also if you walk down a bit you come to ganga shopping complex which is like the underbelly of noida. All night cybercafes, bars, restaurants, a lovely parantha shop, liquor stores and sundry offices make up this shopping complex. Everything is cheap, but watch out for the drunks.

5. Sector 18. Still the coolest place to hang out. Sit outside on the corner of Barista and watch the human parade. Best to have hot drinks and keep watching till you feel a sense of contentment. Good place to meet new people too. Then toddle down to the nearby theka, buy a beer and drink it in a shady corner keeping an eye out for cops. Have some food off the streets and top it off with an icecream from mcdonalds. For further entertainment, theres always elevate.

Friday, September 15, 2006

om hari om....electric guitar and nepali prayers

heard this on the net....Nepali Rock !!!!!

click on this ( link )..then click on Lo-Fi or Hi-Fi (depending upon how fast your net connection is) on the top of the page that opens up... This will pop up a radio player and a song shall start.... check it out.

The blurb describes this song as -

" Sambhoo!
It't the song bout the sisuation having now in our country nepal and we have prayed for the country situation in this song. "

check it out.

peace :)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

munnabhai lage raho

I saw it on saturday, in a little hall in boston. Great movie. I have been a little saddened by the tendency in India these days, to heap abuses on Gandhi and blame him for all the problems. I guess some people will never forgive him for openly admitting that we were weak and creating a solution within that constraint.

It makes people like me a little apologetic for still finding him admirable. Its no longer easy to say that one is a gandhian, unless u mean that you support the Dynasty.

This movie managed to get its message across without being preachy and it was a load of fun too. It seems that the whole Bhagat Singh/Subhash Bose vs Gandhi debate is happening in indian cinema now…in the form of Rang de Basanti vs Munnabhai :). Both movies look at the problems in big cities in India. Where one gets serious and preachy and finally advocates going down in a blaze of glory, Munnabhai starts off funny, stays funny and ends up advocating peaceful non cooperation and satyagraha. Nicely done!!

following this...seems the citizens of lucknow have taken the message to heart...and the gandhi caps are much in demand.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

5 things to do in Delhi

Got a little homesick..and when erimentha ( that sounds like a cough lozenge )tagged me.. Now I gotta tag 5 people too who will do something similar..thats the hard part..let me do the easy part first.

.I started to think about Delhi and what were the things I loved to do there.. so here goes the 5 point action programme for Delhi.

1. Get drunk in the afternoon in Rodeos ( its amazingly cheap in happy hour )in CP, then have a milkshake at Keventers, then take a walk around the inner circle to get your brain cleared out..then walk towards Paharganj, watch a bar dance, talk to the drug pushers, chat up the hippie tourist types, get drunk again and then either rent a room and crash there ( again amazingly cheap ) or catch a bus or train out of there.

2. Pack up all your computer junk and raid your neighbours,relatives for other computer junk that they no longer use ( or wont notice that its gone ). Go down to Nehru place and sell all the stuff. After that buy some wierd CD's, new gizmos, second hand books and a working class meal. Then head to the bar in the Park Royale and get drunk or check the disc out. After all, theres a great feeling of spending money thats earned from waste.

3. Get drunk along with a friend, get a motorbike, start out at 12 midnight and do a full circle of the ring road. Stop on the way at AIIMS for snacks, Moolchand for parathas, ISBT for cigarettes and in west delhi for some booze. Repeat till tired or arrested.

4. Go to Shakuntalam in Pragati maidan, for a cheap movie show. Then toddle down to Kamani Auditorium and catch a musical recital or a play and end it with a walk down Janpath shopping for clothes.

5. Go to Gurgaon and keep trying to get into either Buzz, Mojo, Buddha Lounge, Saffire, Odyssey, Peppers etc. Try doing this on Saturday night without being accompanied by a girl. If nothing works, get into Last Chance in Sahara Mall and keep drinking beer and dancing like crazy till the sun comes out.


movie competition

For our aspiring movie writers….. I got this in an email....was about to throw it out, but the earnestness of it made me stop. Like a cute mudcovered puppy, this offer to the creative people wanting to make 501 ( hehehe why not 500 ) dollars was so cheesy that I not only let it stay...but posted it here on my read on note to the 11 different genres described ..hehe

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Can you write a PREDICTABLE cheezy BOLLYWOOD story? (for $501)

(Moderator, could you please approve this - We are sure there are many experienced, aspiring writers in this group. Thanks in Advance.)

Looking for 7 short-screenplays, $501 each

While we are working on our ambitious INTERNATIONAL flick 'WHEN KIRAN MET KAREN' . We have decided to produce a quick STRAIGHT-TO-DVD project... Collection of 7 Short Films (12-15 minutes each) - Directed by Various Directors ~

TITLE : Just Another BOLLYWOOD Story!
LANGUAGE: ENGLISH, hindi, GUJARATI, punjabi, LATIN, spanish, URDU, telugu, GHETTO, mumbaiya etc


a) LOVE-LOVE (Example - Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Mohabbatein)
b) LOST AND FOUND (Example - Amar Akbar Anthony, Every 80s movie)
c) REVENGE (Example - Sholay, Karan Arjun, Karz, Ghayal, Baazigar, Trishul)
d) FAMILY DRAMA (Example - Hum Saath Saath Hain, Baghban, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham)
e) LOVE-TRIANGLE (Example - Saajan, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Dil Toh Paagal Hai)
f) INFIDELITY (Example - Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, Silsilla, Murder, Jism, No Entry, Masti, Bewafaa)
g) UNDERWORLD (Example - Omkara, Parinda, Satya, Munnabhai MBBS, Company, Sarkar, Vaastav)
h) TRAGEDY (Example - Devdas, Kal Ho Naa Ho, Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, Anand, Dil Se)
i) OBSESSION (Example - Darr, Anjaam, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa)
j) PATRIOTISM (Example - Pardes, Swades, Every Manoj Kumar movie)
k) SPORTS (Example - Lagaan, Bend it like Beckham, Iqbal)

(A screenplay in BOLLYWOOD is what is known as the Step Outline in Hollywood — a clear description of what happens in each scene, sometimes with indicative dialogue, sometimes without, with some clarity of where you want songs to play a role if at all.)
- have maximum 5 characters
- have maximum 3 locations
- be perfect for 10-12 minute film
- have one situation for a 2 minute typical BOLLYWOOD SONG *.
* (LYRICS and MUSIC is not your responsibility. We will compose 7 funny PARODY songs later.) IF YOU HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA - and u have to use more than 5 characters, more than 3 locations - it's A-OK.

We have given you 11 themes... 30+ examples... choose the most commonly known... most famous... "CLICHE" BOLLYWOOD situation/conflict... and present it in a 21st century NEW AGE form...

7 wacky hilarious screenplays will be selected... And each writer will be given $501 - once we start the pre-production on his/her script.


Email your submissions in MS-WORD format to ""

our new favourite indian

the importance of being dingchak

check out dingchaks blog.... one of the few funny guys to come out of excerpt from the latest post is below to whet your apetite. Be sure to check out the blog name generator at his site too....pretty cool stuff for someone who didnt know his ass from a computer not so many years ago.... remind me to tell you the computer meltdown story read on..visit his site...and leave comments too....

I am referring to the humble ‘Suresh’, or for that matter Ramesh (and to a lesser extent the Ganesh) - names ubiquitous enough a decade ago, now rarely ever considered, or if considered, usually as a prank or as an ill-conceived revenge. As an experiment, look around you. How many young couples do you see deciding between Anya,Ananya,Anikya, Anikanya,Adi,Maya, and suchlike, or for the more adventurous -Kapilavastu, Soorpanaka, Ghatotkacha, and what not have you, ..and look at just how many are named Suresh. None? I thought so. read more

and its flintoff

The england selectors appointed Andrew ( Freddie ) Flintoff as the captain of the England and Wales cricket team to tour Australia. This sets the stage for what promises to be a riproaring battle as a young challenger aims to rip apart an old existing power. The first round in the battle went to England as they won the series when Australia visited them. This time, if Australia lose on home soil, they will truly have relinquished the title of the best test team in world cricket.

The appointment of Freddie, shows attacking intent. Most opponents lose to Australia before they step out into the field by being defensive and overawed in their minds and tactics. England under Freddie will go in with all guns blazing and not really be thinking tactics so much. The onus is now on Australia to withstand the assault and counterattack when they can.

how the other half lives

interesting stuff

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

quote of the day. funny but true - katrina, bush, new orleans, hezbollah, lebanon etc all come together in one quote

"Consider: In the New Orleans black community of the Lower 9th Ward, only 200 of its original 14,400 residents have returned to their blasted homes. Though statistics are unavailable, it is likely that Hezbollah has already rebuilt more homes in southern Lebanon than Bush has a year after Katrina in the Lower 9th Ward." - Sidney Blumenthal in

Friday, September 01, 2006

true love

Ganesha Chaturthi

The much loved elephant god, Ganesha, gets his very own festival. Millions of people all over India celebrate this with much enthusiasm and gusto. Its specially popular in the western state of Maharashtra and even more specifically, in Mumbai or Bombay, the capital city of Maharashtra. Crowds spill out on the streets, carrying clay statues of Ganesha, singing and dancing and banging drums and getting drunk and shouting prayers and what not, till the ferment becomes a fervor and the stream of humanity carrying Ganesha statues aloft, pours into the beaches where the land meets the sea. Wading into the sea, with chants and mantras and the odd curse when someone slips and falls or get pushed, the clay statues are immersed into the sea and they slowly melt away.

* note : all statues are made of baked clay and are totally bio-degradable.

There is a rather silly joke which I always remember when I think of Ganesha Chaturthi.

* note #2 : its not to do with the fact that he is an Elephant God, and yet is carried by a mouse. Thats right, a little mouse is the official carrier of our beloved happy funloving elephant god. That is funny, but also very profound if you look at it differently.
Sometimes Ganesha loses his mouse...specially if theres cheese around..and then he doesnt like it a bit... as you can see -

Where were we, ahh yes, the joke. Well it seems once a christian, a hindu, a muslim and a Sikh were on a boat near Mumbai, and it sprung a leak. The christian, prayed to Jesus, who appeared and picked him up and carried him to land. The Muslim prayed to Allah, and was rewarded similarly. The Sikh, prayed to his Guru, who appeared and carried him to land. The Hindu being a follower of Ganesha, prayed to him and Lord Ganesha appeared before him. The hindu was happy and waited for Ganesha to lift him up and save him. To his amazement, Ganesha started to do a little elephant dance singing a lively song and made no move to save him. The boat went under and the Hindu was drowning, and there was lord ganesha, doing the cha cha cha and singing a peppy film song. "Lord why dont u save me" cried the hindu. Lord Ganesha gave a smug smile and said, " You guys make a song and dance and drown me in the water every year dont see what that feels like" which point the Christian, the Sikh and the Muslim standing on the shore, clapped their hands and acknowledged the wisdom of this. The Hindu was going to say something, but swallowed some water and went under, never to resurface.

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